Rachel Dolezal’s complexion problem

She's either a giant Q-Tip or preparing to become a human cannonball from Michael Shannon at The Whole Shebang (mostly)

Meet Rachel Dolezal - African American Incognito

Elizabeth Warren meet Rachel Dolezal. Or better yet, Liawatha meet Fauxprah. Talk about your sisters from another mother! One pretends to be an Indian to exploit the racial spoils system on the East Coast. While the other undergoes what Zorro and The Blue Footballs called the “race change operation” to become black and abuse that quota system on the West Coast.

She's a What, Says Billie 'Buckwheat' Thomas

When Warren’s deception was discovered her nicknames became very colorful: Crockagawea, Fauxcahontas and Liawatha were some of the best. Dolezal and her blackface masquerade also have great potential. In just a few minutes I’ve come up
with Josephine Faker, Liah Angelou, Phony Morrison, Nodetta and Fauxprah. You can create your own, but hurry, Rachel’s notoriety won’t last as long as Elizabeth’s, unless she can find enough deluded Democrats to elect her to office, too.

Dolezal’s transformation started slowly. Her parents adopted four black orphans. This act of kindness had a bizarre impact on blonde, blue–eyed Rachel. Maybe it was the attention they received. Maybe it was the melatonin.

Eventually she applied for a scholarship to historically black Howard University in Washington, DC. Family members couldn’t help but notice she sounded more like Hattie McDaniel during her phone interviews than white–bread Rachel, but their surprise was nothing compared to the shock in the admissions office at Howard when Goldilocks walked in the door.

Her time there was not without incident. She attempted a failed lawsuit against university for racial and sex discrimination. I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she got tired of being called “Snowflake” and decided to do something about it.

Her mistake may have been combining Man Tan with Jheri Curl in a single session. She dozed off as Rachel and woke up as Fakey Minaj. After listening to Michelle I was under the impression life as a black woman was tough: subtle insults at state dinners, news media hanging on your every word and people at Target asking you to reach for items on the top shelf.

But here’s Rachel volunteering for duty. She had a brief marriage to a black man — it may have caused problems when he asked why a black woman had to spend so much time on the tanning bed — and then moved to Spokane to become the Al Sharpton of the organic clothing crowd.

And that proved to be the beginning of the end. Spokane is not all that far from her parent’s home in Montana and as Rachel’s profile increased it was only a matter of time before someone made the connection.

In retrospect Dolezal is almost a cliché. First she tries too hard. Rachel grew this huge, unruly mop of Rasta hair that I thought was supposed to be confined under a large knit cap. But no, she piles it on top of her head and as a result she looks like a cross between giant Q–Tip or a human cannonball testing a new shock absorption system.

She uses her chemically–induced race to become chair of the Seattle Police Ombudsman Commission where she searches for police brutality. Rachel claims her adopted black brother is actually her son. Ben Shapiro has unearthed an interview with The Easterner where she says the family lived in a teepee, dad hunted with a bow and arrow and they had to flee to South Africa where she was abused with a Boer whip.

Rachel claims to be a professor when she’s not; says she was date raped but didn’t file charges; explains her hair is blonde because she had cancer and whines that someone painted a swastika on the door of an office where she worked.

Essentially Dolezal is a leftist grievance recycling center masquerading as a human. The only thing she hasn’t claimed to justify her ethnic transformation is dad was the “black sheep” of the family.

Now it’s all come crashing down. She had to resign from the NAACP, the police stopped investigating her hate crime magnetism, the university didn’t renew her contract and the black man she claims is her father disowned her.

The only good news for our drama queen is the gullible and superficial media is flying her east to appear on network TV. And there are rumors of an endorsement deal with Fake Bake.

Before she resigned, authentic members of the NAACP were starting a petition to force Rachel to take a leave of absence during the controversy. Her resignation pre–empts that, but some alone time might come in handy. Rachel could try to get in touch with her roots. I hear Scandinavia is very nice this time of year.

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The great pretenders

From the files of Jeff Crouere at Ringside Politics on WLAE-TV 32 in New Orleans

Another Phony Gets 15 Minutes of Fame

Before the nation had a chance to digest the spectacle of former Olympic star Bruce Jenner transitioning into a female by the name of “Caitlyn,” another pretender has emerged. It seems that the NAACP President of Spokane, Washington is actually, heaven forbid, white. For years, Rachel Dolezal claimed to be an African American, but now her cover has been blown by her own mother, Ruthanne Dolezal, who informed the media that her daughter is indeed white.

In an interview with the Spokesman-Review, Ruthanne Dolezal lamented “It's very sad that Rachel has not just been herself. Her effectiveness in the causes of the African-American community would have been so much more viable, and she would have been more effective if she had just been honest with everybody.”

Rachel Dolezal has been estranged from her real white parents for years. She claims to have been abused by her parents, although they deny the accusations. Their real crime is their skin color and any self-respecting African American NAACP leader cannot be seen with white parents!

This fraudulent civil rights leader was just following the example set by U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). Prior to being elected to the U.S. Senate, Professor Elizabeth Warren claimed that she was a Native American.

This “minority” status allowed her to garner positions at the University of Pennsylvania and Harvard University. When confronted by his use of the minority label, Warren claimed that she used it to meet other Native Americans. Of course, it was really used to advance her career. She parlayed her academic positions into a powerful political office. Of course, it was all built on a deception, but since Warren is a liberal, everything has been forgiven.

Regarding deceptive practices, Dolezal has been quite accomplished. She lied to the Spokane community for years, using her imaginary minority status to land positions in government, academia and with the NAACP. In February, she also claimed to be the victim of hate mail and suspicious nooses left at her homes.

The problem with her story is that postal investigators determined that the “hate mail” was not delivered to her post office box, but it was placed there by someone with a key, maybe someone like Dolezal looking for publicity and sympathy. The investigation into the nooses has produced exactly zero suspects, another suspicious story.

Her falsehoods extended to social media where Dolezal posted pictures of her supposed African American father and children. In reality, her father is white and her “children” were in fact her siblings adopted by her white parents. When confronted by a reporter about the misrepresentations, she became so flustered that she left her purse and car keys behind and hid in a clothing store. She realized her dream of being an African American civil rights leader turned into a nightmare of lies and deceit.

Obviously, Dolezal was willing to take these chances because she not only identified with African Americans, but she also realized that being a minority is a ticket to advancement in certain fields. It can lead to career opportunities in academia, government, community activism and of course politics. It obviously worked quite well for not only Warren, but also President Barack Obama, who considers himself African American even though he is half white. Dolezal is not even half black; her white ancestors are from Germany and Czechoslovakia, nowhere near Africa.

Now that her phony background has been exposed, she should lose her various appointments, all based on a fictional African American heritage. While she claims to truly care about helping African Americans, Dolezal is, in essence, no better than Al Sharpton. She is another hustler, lying to those who are looking for leadership in all the wrong places.

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 Jeff Crouere is a native of New Orleans, LA and he is the host of a Louisiana based program, “Ringside Politics,” which airs at 7:30 p.m. Friday and 10:00 p.m. Sunday on WLAE-TV 32, a PBS station, and 7 till 11 a.m. weekdays on WGSO 990 AM in New Orleans and the Northshore. 

For more information, visit Jeff's web site at www.ringsidepolitics.com or e-mail him at jeff@ringsidepolitics.com.

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Top Ten left wing goals for the next two years

Top ten left wing goals for the next two years (just kidding) by Colonel Allen B. West

From the Files of Allen B. West

There was a quite telling moment the Wednesday after the 2014 midterm elections when President Obama stood at a podium in the White House and said he’d heard the voices of the two-thirds of the Americans who did not vote.

In other words, Obama frankly stated to the Americans who did actually go to the polls that he didn’t get the memo, the email, tweet, or Facebook post of the previous day’s results.

He was going into the final two years of his presidential administration having lost the Senate majority, witnessed the election of the largest House GOP majority in nearly 70 years, and watched as the GOP expanded its control of state capitols and legislatures. He did not win after stating his policies were on the ballot – in fact, they were soundly rejected. Elections have consequences — but not for Barack Obama.

If anything, the message since that Wednesday address is that Obama and his agenda will march on — unilaterally. In effect his challenge to the GOP has been “I will do as I wish by executive actions or memoranda, unless you pass a bill like.” I searched the Constitution and failed to find that delineation of the executive branch and legislative branch duties and responsibilities.

Since November 4, 2014 we’ve seen an angry president intent on doing as he deems appropriate — regardless of the unconstitutional implications and the lies needed along the way. So what is the end goal?

As reported by Breitbart, “Now that President Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry have launched their new friendship initiative with Cuba, progressives are thinking more optimistically about what else might be possible in the remainder of the president’s term. After all, since the November 2014 elections, Obama has moved sharply left on immigration, climate change, and net neutrality. So why shouldn’t the Left hope for more?”

Bretibart offers the top ten policy agenda items President Obama and the progressive socialist left wing will want to push through (and folks this is satire – at least I hope):

10. Marijuana to be completely decriminalized under the ever-expanding doctrine of “prosecutorial discretion.” In the meantime, the administration will push for a complete ban on all tobacco products and e-cigarettes.

9. The Federal Communications Commission to re-impose the “Fairness Doctrine” on radio; the FCC to further study whether the same Doctrine can be applied to cable TV news.

8. Jane Fonda to be named Secretary of Veterans Affairs; Ted Turner to be named Ambassador to the United Nations.

7. Wind-energy turbines to be made mandatory across the country, except for Cape Cod, The Hamptons, Malibu, and other coastal enclaves, where such turbines are forever forbidden.

6. The FDA and EPA to team up and decide that coal is a carcinogen. Meanwhile, solar panels are to be included in school lunches.

5. The Presidential Medal of Freedom to be awarded to Alec Baldwin, Michael Bloomberg, David Brock, Wendy Davis, Sandra Fluke, Arianna Huffington, Bill Maher. Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell.

4. Posthumous presidential pardons for Joe Hill, Sacco and Vanzetti, the Rosenbergs, and also a pardon for a living prison inmate, Willie Horton.

3. Al Sharpton to be named White House Police Brutality Czar.

2. President Obama to commit to the complete eradication of both homophobia and Islamophobia.

1. The Obama administration to propose a new Constitutional Amendment allowing individuals born in Africa or Asia to serve as President of the United States; also, the administration to propose the repeal of the 22nd Amendment.

I must admit that points 9 and 10 are within the realm of the possible. Hey, even everything going on, it is after all Christmas time and could use a little cheer — so to Media Matters and other chucklehead far left groups who troll these pages — don’t go writing “Allen West conspiracy theory that Obama will change the 22nd Amendment.”

I am absolutely concerned the Obama administration will march on towards a far left agenda in its final two years. There is clearly no regard for the rule of law as written in our Constitution, and there seems to be no consequences for the incessant deceptions and lies emanating from Obama and his administration.

It is far from being the most transparent administration in our history — unless you count releasing a partisan political Senate Democrat report on the CIA enhanced interrogation techniques.

And since Obama hasn’t been personally affected by any electoral decisions based on his actions – he’s been elected and reelected — his interpretation is that voters may not like the Democrats, but they sure like him.

As we drive towards the 2016 presidential election cycle, you’d think Obama would become a toxic liability for the Democrat Party – they’d wanted him to stay somewhat hidden this past midterm cycle. And consider that even the black Lieutenant Governor in Maryland who was running for Governor and was endorsed personally at a rally with the president lost to a Republican. That’s Maryland folks!

Yes it’s a funny list, but the question is whether or not the Democrat Party really wants to be run by progressive socialists, and will they win in the post-Obama era with that policy agenda?

The test will play out over these next two years. Barack Obama won because America wanted to shed “white guilt” and what did we get? Even more racist condemnation — so what is enough?

Therefore, if the leftist agenda is “to be continued” it will need a new “guilt” in order to mask its nefarious and destructive aims towards our Constitutional Republic — the “new guilt” will be “gender guilt.” I see bumper stickers saying, “I I’m ready for Hillary” — why? It should just simply read, “I’m ready for a woman to advance the progressive socialist agenda.”

Well, it won’t be Hillary upon whom that mantle will fall, but rather Elizabeth Warren — whom I believe will become the modern day George McGovern. The intent of these final two years of the Obama administration is to set the conditions for the continued “fundamental transformation” of America.

Any attempt to stymie that objective must be highly principled and speak truth to power in order to bring this clear and present danger to the future of our country to the attention of the American people.

This is not a game — and sadly, unlike this humorous list – it’s not funny, but very serious.

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