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From a Brooklyn street kid who has seen it all, he now helps others reach that happiness. With millions of Americans suffering from depression and anxiety like 18% of the U.S. population, Dr. Lops claims help may be as simple as changing how we talk.
Try these 7 tips on for size.
FLIP THE SCRIPT ON SELF-DESCRIPTION. Do you tend to describe yourself in absolutes like “I’ve always been unhappy?” Absolutes close off the possibility of change. Shift to a more open-ended language like “I have moments of unhappiness.”
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR STRESSORS. Ever say, “That stinks!” Dwelling on the negative impact of a stressor allows it to continue to bring you down. Instead, use neutral language to master it like “It’s been a bad situation, but I’ll get past it.”
TAP INTO YOUR INNER VOICE. Dr. Lops once suffered from a terrible bout of anxiety and plagued by negative thoughts. At one point, he really thought he would die. Instead, he let his inner voice take over the one that said, “No, you’re going to be fine.” There’s no evidence you’re going to die, and you’ll get over this. Listening to that voice he persevered and got back on his feet.
BE MINFDUL OF A SITUATION. One terrible result of negative language can be loos of friends and worse. Be mindful of your surroundings and the people around you. Becoming aware of where you are and who you’re with can save you from a world of trouble, and the recurring anxiety and regrets that often come with it.
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN WORDS. How do you describe a lost opportunity? Do you say “I didn’t get the job and it sucks. They were idiots not to hire me.” Or do you say, “I didn’t get the job, but maybe it wasn’t a good fit.” Don’t let the situation get the better of you. Moving away from negative description will keep you moving forward.
TEMPER YOUR TONE. At a young age we’re taught through role models and feedback to raise our voices when we’re angry. This can worsen conflicts, which can cause us to feel depressed or anxious. Instead, take a neutral tone. Acknowledge the specifics that made you angry, but leave the emotions out of it. That way, you can leave the dispute, and the negative emotions behind.
CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF. Dr. Lops gives his patients homework. When they go home, they begin checking in on themselves about how they spoke to people during the week. Did they use an angry tone or raise their voice? Did they complain about something? The more aware we are of this negativity, the sooner we can move past it, leaving room for growth and change.
There is so much more in “Reinvent Yourself” that will challenge your ideas and get you to a new level of self. Check out his website at www.drjohnnylops.com.
From this Brooklyn Psychiatrist who has seen it all, Dr. Johnny Lops hopes to get you to that new level. Keep talking your way to happiness!
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