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| Tune In to Mary Jane Popp at KAHI Radio |
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, why not think about some positive ways to beef up your relationship.
Dr. Margot Brown a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for over twenty years suggests laying a foundation of positive so the negative is not ever-present. In her book “Kickstart Your Relationship Now! Move On or Move Out!” she identifies nine ways you can express the positive to your partner.
I LOVE YOU: Tell your mate “I love you.” Sometimes you might not feel that you show it, so say so and be sure to include the words, “I love you.” Say it aloud with sincerity.
COMPLIMENTS: If you never hear anything good or positive from your mate, then it is difficult for you to say something nice or positive back. Give a compliment now and then.
HUGGING: Hugging, embracing, kissing, holding hands, caressing…all are very gentle, symbolic expressions of love and gentle communication. This is very important and necessary to any relationship.
ROMANTIC GESTURES: Send flowers, a card, jewelry, or a token of appreciation.
BE POSITIVE: Be positive in what you say to others and yourself. Stop any negative talk…it’s unhealthy and unproductive.
SMILING: Smile…it makes you feel extremely good, confident, and positive. It becomes infectious, and rubs off on others and in how they treat you.
MAINTAIN INTEREST: Keep time to do things together that you enjoy, such as reading, playing games, taking walks, going to the theatre, playing sports together etc.
BALANCE: See things from your partner’s perspective as to what he or she needs in regards to balancing work, kids time alone or together and chores with entertainment.
RESPECT: Respect your mate by including them in decision-making issues. Do not speak for your mate when asked to attend a party, dinner, or event without discussing it with that person first.
If your mate is negative, why don’t you, through your own positive thinking, try to encourage positive thinking in a gentle manner without putting him or her down. According to Dr. Brown, “You will find that positive thinking has a rippling effect on your entire life…relationships, work, goals, health spirituality, and so on.” She added that we should not play games because they can be a barrier to connecting authentically. Do you play any of these games?
BREAK UP, MAKE UP: Couples fight and make up. They fight again, break up, and return back with lots of “I’m sorry.” It’s a vicious cycle that can become habitual. It needs to stop.
I DON’T KNOW: When your spouse asks why you persistently do something wrong or annoying and you answer “I don’t know,” it’s a cop-out. Look for ways to stop it.
IT’S YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE: Pointing fingers and laying all the blame on the other person is not productive. Often, the blamer merely reflects their own insecurities and projects them onto the other.
PICK PICK, NAG NAG: Some partners don’t do all they are expected to do. But it’s equally important to ask for help rather than fold your arms on your chest and refuse to help the situation. Here comes the implosion or explosion.
THE SILENT TREATMENT: This is never effective. It turns an argument into a war and leaves built up anger to fester.
Just a few facts. Find more information at www.72hrrule.com.
Make a pact this Mother’s Day and be HAPPY!
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